Toddlers are like Drunk Adults
I'm certainly not the first person who has ever made this comparison and I'm sure I won't be the last. I think I first heard the comparison from my good friend Casey Grice a few years back but I'm sure he wasn't the first person who ever thought of it either. With his permission I decided to come up with all the ways I could think of that a Toddler and a Drunk Adult were similar.
Neither of them should get behind the wheel of a car and drive.
Neither of them can walk in a straight line.
Neither of them can speak without mispronouncing/slurring words. It's a lot cuter when the toddler does it though.
They will both just pass out virtually anywhere.
They both over-share info. Particularly about bodily functions.
Neither can keep a secret. It's in one ear and out the mouth.
Neither has any volume control. They both tend to do a lot of screaming.
They both need a babysitter to keep them from hurting themselves or breaking things.
They are both likely to take their clothes off at a moments notice for no good reason.
Neither can be trusted with sharp objects.
Neither can be left alone with your phone. The toddler will somehow go 5 pages deep into the settings menu and change something you need to Google in order undo and then drop and crack your phone. The drunk person will post embarrassing statuses on all your social media sites, text all your exes and then drop and crack your phone.
Neither has any respect for personal space. Either one is just as likely to pet your face while you are talking to them.
Either one could pee on themselves (or in a completely inappropriate location) at anytime.
They both like to have a bottle in their hand.
So that's what I was able to come up with. I'm sure there are other comparisons that exist. Can you think of any that I didn't mention?
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44 comments
Both fall down a lot.
The threat of vomit splash is real!
Both should have a change of clothes with them, but most often don't.
they have a tendency to get naked at inopportune times
Hilarious, I think you pretty much summed it up and the previous comment added the vomit angle I was going to express.
Oh vomiting!! How could I have missed that one? That's so true. Thanks for stopping by.
Yeah you aren't kidding. My kids have embarrassed me a few times with this one! Thanks for dropping by.
The vomiting is rough! I'd almost rather clean up a diaper blow-out than vomit.
hahaha! This is brilliant!! So very true x
Hahaha! Those were funny! I agree with Gary as I can't think of anything else and I was going to say the vomit thing too!
If anyone vomits around me I usually join them. I've had to have my mom come clean up when the girls have hurled many times! So gross just talking about it is making me queasy.
xx
Lysa
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day!
Seriously, I can't handle vomit so well myself. Don't think I've ever had to call my mom but I've definitely had to get my wife to pitch in. Here's to hoping for a vomit free week!
tehe this was a funny one! Maybe crying randomly ? xx
Excellent stuff, very funny :)
Oh yes, extreme, emotional outbursts! Definitely!
Thanks man.
Woo-Hoo! I hoping that for you as well! The only reason I had to call my Mom is because I was a single Mom for a really, really long time until I was married last April. That and I only live a few blocks from my parents so she was and is always the closest person to call! LOL
I enjoyed this list!! Especially not being able to keep your phone away from both!
Very creative!!!
Funny list.
How about both can change emotions on a dime?
And it becomes monkey see, monkey do.
And you know what it fun, it gets better as they older.
Great point! They are both emotionally very fickle.
Thanks Lia. It is true, I've discovered settings I didn't know existed because my kid changed them.
Haha, definitely good comparison with these! Nice list and yep, vomiting is a safe one to add :) #BigTopBlogParty
It's funny because it's true. Back in my day (I despise saying that) I was compared to a toddler because I always had a bottle in my hand...
Great stuff man!
Oh my gosh...so funny (because it's so true)! Sharing on my personal facebook page!!!
Thanks Lisa. :)
Oohhh....you were THAT guy?! Haha
Thanks for dropping by.
Both run I to things and get hurt. my toddler has a bruise and scrape down his whole face from running full speed into a wall yesterday.
would love to show this off on my beer related blog coming out this spring...good stuff.
I've got no problem with you sharing this on your beer blog. Assuming you give me a little credit :)
They are completely unable to understand reason? Loved this, I have one (a toddler, not a drunk person) that does most of those things!
I wanted to make a calendar for my son. every night when he fell asleep he looked like a drunken frat dude who passed out from too many beers.
That sounds like an amazing calendar!!
Hhahaha! Oh my , this made me laugh out load! What a funny and great idea for a post. Ray xx @ lukeosaurusandme.blogspot.co.uk #bigfatlinky
Haha all so true! Well at least a drunk can sleep it off, whereas a toddler has to live with being like this every day! #bigfatlinky
Good stuff! I hope you took the keys from that kid in the picture passed out on your couch. I guess one thing you may have missed is sometimes they are both a little overboard with how cool they think things are and how much they love everything/everybody. "I love you man!!!!"
That's true they will both profess their live to just about anyone.
Just the other day in the grocery store two of my kids ran up to some old lady and gave her a hug. I've never seen her in my life. Fortunately she thought it was sweet.
Haha this is absolutely brilliant!! Love it because it's so true. Laughed out loud of times! #bigfatlinky
Thanks Martyn :)
I loved your post. Made me laugh the whole way through! Thanks so much for linking up. Would love if you followed me on twitter @susanpajaro
Thanks Susan. I followed you.
Oh how I chuckled, brilliant post I just had to share it on Facebook :)
:) Thanks! Have a wonderful weekend!
Great post! How about the dancing? My three year old has his own patented dance move -
1) stand on one leg near to something stable that you can rest your hand on
2) bend and straighten the weight-bearing leg, thus bobbing up and down
3) nod your head wildly
4) invite anyone in the vicinity to behold your badass moves
5) graciously accept the inevitable compliments from all around you on your dancing prowess
Job done!
Alice
Woah! Those sound like some sweet moves! I think a video is in order :)
These are all so true, and I agree they are much cuter when the toddlers do them :)
Debbie
www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com